Adored and Admired -Harmione
by Enigmatix
Summary: Hermione was never aware of how deep her feelings were for her best friend, Harry. She honestly believed that she MIGHT be in love with Ron. But one night changes everything when she is confronted by truth which is so hurtful and deep, it changes her 4evr


'You might think he loves me but he doesn't', Ginny was saying as she casually glanced at Harry who was sitting with Ron by the fire.

Hermione looked at him as well and then quickly back at the book in her lap. She could already feel a slight pinch of colour mounting her cheeks as she thought of Harry. They were sitting in the Gryffindor common room and so far, it was only herself, Ginny as well as Harry and Ron who were there. It was almost nine o'clock in the night and instead of doing their homework, Ron and Harry were busy chatting away. The later, however, had his book open in front of him and he was at least trying to get some work done. Ron on the other hand had already given up on writing his DADA essay and he was looking into the fire, his mouth moving more than Harry.

'I think he loves you', Hermione said and she dipped the tip of her quill into her ink bottle then continued writing.

'No he doesn't. Everyone knows Harry can't seem to find that special girl as yet. Just look at him', Ginny said and she indeed looked over at Harry, 'thinking he's 'The Chosen One' so he needs a girl who is so special...'

'Well I don't think Harry thinks like that', Hermione said interrupting her, 'he probably-he probably is still searching.'

'He kissed Cho though', Ginny said wrinkling her nose and folding up a bit of parchment idly, 'what does Cho have that I don't?'

Hermione didn't actually want to answer so she shrugged.

'I mean, he has so many decent girls around here and he's single', Ginny said and she rolled the parchment up into a ball and aimed it at the fireplace in front of Ron then threw it with all her force.

It hit Ron squarely on his head and he turned around and stared at her then Hermione. Harry, however, didn't turn around but continued to face front.

'Blimey!' he said, 'can't two blokes chat and be left alone?'

'Not if your head is so empty it makes a hollow sound when something hits it', Ginny said teasingly, 'for Heaven's sake Ron, get on with your homework and stop chatting.'

'And because you said so? Why don't you get on with yours?' Ron asked rubbing his head.

'Oh don't make me wrestle you'.

'I'm so scared, Ginny', Ron jeered and turned back to face the fire.

'He chooses to be single, I suppose', Hermione continued, her hand moving swiftly from left to right on the paper as she wrote out her essay.

'Well', Ginny slumped down in her chair and sighed, 'guess Dean will have to do for the moment then.'

She rested both her feet on top of the table and stared at the moving picture frame on the wall in front of her. It depicted a man and a woman deeply in love with each other. At that moment, they were wrapped in each other's arms, staring into each other's eyes. Ginny scoffed and shifted her chair to face Hermione.

'I just don't know why it's so important for you girls to not be single, Ginny', Hermione said and Ginny looked at her.

'Aw come on, you can't fool me. The way you look at him', she said smiling, 'the excuse of being his best friend wouldn't last long you know. One day he's going to find out.'

Hermione bit the inside of her cheek lightly and smiled, 'I don't love him that way, Ginny'.

By now the couple in the frame were kissing each other passionately. Ginny scrunched up another bit of parchment and threw it at the frame, making the couple jump. The woman squealed and held on dramatically to her lover then they walked out of sight to the left of the frame.

'Your look says it all. Besides, sometimes he just can't stop talking about you. Gets Ron and me on edge at times, I...' Ginny said looking at the empty picture frame.

'Ron?' Hermione asked looking at her sharply, 'who exactly are you talking about?'

'I'm talking about Harry. Who are you talking about?' Ginny asked and she then realised what had happened and smiled, 'oh dear. I don't believe this! You're falling for Ron? Get a life Hermione!'

Just then Ron sniggered as if he had heard them and he turned around to look at Hermione then turned back to Harry and said something to him, his voice muffled because of the distance between them. Harry turned around quickly as well and looked directly at Hermione then looked back at the fireplace.

'You see?' Ginny asked nudging Hermione, 'Harry didn't look at me. He looked at you.'

And she knew she was blushing now because the smile on Ginny's face broadened at every second until she was grinning ear to ear.

'Oh my goodness!' Ginny exclaimed and her hand fluttered up to her mouth, 'you are in love with both of them! Guess that's what happens when you have two best friends that are boys. You'll have to choose though, you know that.'

'Shush it!' Hermione loudly whispered and she slid her finished essay between her textbook pushed it into her bag, 'I don't know if I love either of them in that way, Ginny.'

'Don't lie to me Hermione, besides', and she flicked her feathered quill in Crookshanks' face, 'if I were you, I'd choose Harry. Ron is a git.'

Hermione got up quickly and took up her bag then she looked over at Harry and Ron and frowned. Because of what Ginny had been telling her about Ron and Harry, she didn't feel up to it to go join them by the fireplace. She knew her face was flushed from guilt of some sort and decided that she'd just go up to bed and think things through. When it came to love, Hermione believed she was definitely not good at it.

'Hey I'm going up to bed, Ginny', she said, pretending to yawn.

'Aw come on. Don't want to talk about Harry do you?' Ginny asked with a smile on her face, 'alright then. I wouldn't torment you further. Go on.'

Hermione felt a bit bad by just going to bed and not telling either of her best friends that she was leaving. She sat on her bed after she had changed into her nightdress and stared out the window. It was raining lightly and a streak of lightening went across the sky. But then just as the rain came down harder and a few drops slid down the window pane, she began to cry. Lifting her palms to her face, she pressed them there and sobbed.

She felt so depressed when it came to love because unlike many of the girls she knew, she had to be the one without someone to love her more than a best friend would. Whenever Ginny would talk about Dean and her love for Harry, all Hermione could do was wish she had some boy to talk about like that. Of course people believed she was all for her books but she was like any other girl who needed to feel what it was like to have a boyfriend. Picking up her DADA textbook, she lay back on her pillow and began to read but couldn't focus.

All Hermione found herself doing was staring at the page and listening to the rain pour outside her window. She heard Ginny come in and looked over.

'I thought you were tired?' Ginny asked and sat on Hermione's bed, 'why are you always reading some textbook, Hermione? I tell you, you need to have a little more fun. Let me find you a boyfriend or something.'

Hermione sighed then turned over and as the light caught her face, Ginny's eyes widened.

'Why are you crying?' she asked.

'It's nothing.'

'Aw come on!' Ginny said holding unto her arm and squeezing it, 'what did I do?'

'It's more like what you're doing that I'm not', Hermione muttered and knew Ginny had heard her.

'What am I doing then?' she asked.

Turning over to face Ginny, she bit her lips then took up one end of her sheet and started to fold it idly.

'What-what's it like to be in love, Ginny?' she asked, her eyes teary, 'I mean, how it feels to have a-a boyfriend to kiss and hug and...'

Ginny's face saddened a bit as she watched Hermione then she smiled.

'Hermione', she said and she reached over and took her hand, 'it feels wonderful. Well Dean and I have our ups and downs but it feels nice to have someone love you that way. The kissing is alright, when we get a chance to and...But you can have any boy you want you know.'

'No I can't', Hermione said negatively and she sniffed, 'no boy likes me that way. Who would want a know- it- all, too brilliant, book worm, snobby girl like me?'

'Harry does', Ginny said, 'I mean, you are hardly any of those negative things. I must admit though that you seem to be a know- it- all but Hermione, open your eyes! Harry is totally in love with you!'

'What?' Hermione asked and she got up with a start because earlier she had honestly believed Ginny was joking when she said Harry was always talking about her.

'Harry Potter: that best friend that you have that wears glasses and has a scar on his forehead right here', she said pointing to her forehead, 'and the boy who I'd kill to get in his pants: he loves you alright.'

'How-how do you know that? That's not true!' Hermione said looking aghast at Ginny, 'he doesn't love me like that.'

'How would you of all people know?' Ginny asked and she flicked her hair from in front of her eyes then leaned in to Hermione. 'You should hear the things he says about you. Both Ron and I know that he loves you a lot more than a best friend.'

'What does he say about me?' Hermione asked and she could feel her hands becoming cold and her head becoming a bit dizzy.

It was one thing to actually find that she might love Harry a bit more than a best friend but it was another thing to find out that he actually loved her. What was he saying to Ginny and Ron behind her back that gave them the impression that he was in love with her? Although she wanted to know, she was kind of nervous to find out.

'Well, at first it used to be small things, like 'Hermione is smart and she's a pretty great best friend'. Then he...like last night when you were studying in the corner and Ron, Harry and I were sitting by the fire, Ron was asking him if he had to date one girl who would it be, if he had to kiss one girl right then who would it be and he said you.'

'You're lying', Hermione said and she didn't believe a word of it but why would Ginny lie about that?

'Then, Ron of course wasn't shocked because he knows Harry likes you, I know he does. Then Ron started to ask him what he sees in you and Harry was like 'Hermione's got nice eyes, hair and well, she smells sweet'. Bit farfetched isn't it? Considering that I was there and he knew I'd come back and tell you.'

'Probably he was just joking around', Hermione said and she tried to avoid looking at Ginny, 'why would he want to kiss me?'

'Because he loves you, Hermione. Honestly, you are so thick at times!'

Hermione didn't answer her for quite some time and she was just staring out the window. The rain was barely drizzling now and she felt a bit agitated. All those things Ginny had told her made no sense because whenever she was around Harry, there was no difference in the way he treated her. Of course they were best friends but she was not trying to rack her brains to decipher if Harry had done anything to signal to her that he loved her. The only things she could remember is the way he would look at her when she talked to him or anyone else and how he was quick to comfort her and show affection to her when she needed it. There was nothing else though.

Maybe Ginny was picking it all up wrong.

'Do you love him?' Ginny asked.

'I-I don't know if I love him', Hermione said she got up.

Pulling on her robe she told Ginny that she needed some fresh air and would be back in about ten minutes.

'Alright, off you go again', Ginny said and went to her bed; obviously disappointed that she couldn't discuss Harry further. 'It's alright if you love him though. I mean, I love him too but I'd love to see you two together.'

Hermione didn't even look back at her but walked out the door and down the stairs.

She stood looking out unto the grounds of the castle on a dimly lit corridor a little while after. Hermione was afraid that she would be caught wandering but she just couldn't stay in the common room or in the dormitories with Ginny lamenting about Harry. It was a bit too much for her poor heart who knew nothing much about love. Wrapping her robe tightly around her body, she peered into the distance and wondered what her life would be like ten years from then. Who would she be married to? Would it be Ron or Harry? Would it be Victor? How many children would she have?

Just then, she heard footsteps a little way down the corridor, maybe around a corner and she stepped back into the shadows. Someone was definitely coming her way and she watched out from the shadows to see who it was, her heart pounding. Hermione hoped it wasn't Snape or Filch. But there came Harry and Luna.

Luna was crying and they stopped a little way from where Hermione was standing. Harry had his arm around her and he was whispering to her and rubbing her back.

'Don't cry, Luna', he was saying and Luna covered her eyes with her hands and sobbed.

'Why can't he love me?' Luna said through her hands and Harry tried to remove her hands from her face.

He succeeded and Hermione couldn't see Luna's expression on her face from where she was standing but she could see Harry's face. He reached up and wiped Luna's eyes and embraced her, pressing her face into the crook of his shoulder and patting her head.

'He probably doesn't even know you fancy him. Why don't you tell him that you do?'

'It-it's not that easy, Harry', she said through sobs, 'today we were talking and he was so nice to me but then he just got up and left as if he became annoyed or something of the sort.'

'Well he probably just remembered he had to do something', Harry said and Hermione heard Luna laugh a strained laugh.

'What about you and...' she began but it seemed as if she didn't want to say the person's name out loud.

Hermione wanted to know why she didn't.

'Nothing', Harry said and leaned back against the stone wall, facing Luna, 'nothing is ever going to happen, I suppose.'

'Don't say that', Luna said, 'you just have to tell her how you feel instead of telling everyone else your feelings for her and not telling her directly. I bet she heard from Ginny already.'

'If I were her, I'd love you back, Harry', Luna said and she touched Harry's cheek lightly then slid one hand through his, 'come on let's go back before someone finds us and believe us to be plotting something mysterious.'

'Na I think I'll stay out here a bit', Harry said, 'I need some time to think.'

'Oh alright. Thanks so much for the comfort, Harry', Luna said and she reached up and kissed his cheek. 'What a lucky girl she is.'

Hermione watched as Luna skipped of, surprisingly cheerful once more and she saw Harry walk slowly towards her direction. Of course he couldn't see her because she was behind a stone pillar but she had this weird feeling that he knew she was there. He came and stood right near the pillar and leaned against it, his back to her and she could smell him. His cologne was strong, whatever it was and his robe smelt like it always did: like leaves, potions, a bit of soap, food, and lots more smells. She used to always take his smell for granted and not give a care in the world about it at all but now she found herself savouring it.

He reached up with one hand and scratched his head then swung it around the pillar to the back of him and if she hadn't moved away, he would have touched her. Hermione suddenly realised that her perfume smell was very distinct as well. She wondered if Harry had smelt it and stepped back further, feeling her back press against the wall.

Harry, however, had turned around and was looking around him as he had smelt her perfume. He peered behind the pillar and when he saw her, he gasped.

'Hermione, what...?'

'Harry', she said stepping forward and into the light of the lamp above the corridor.

'What are you doing here?' he asked, looking worried.

'I was-was just out here to take some fresh air', she stammered out nervously and when Harry still looked at her worried, she said, 'I-what are you doing out here?'

'And you didn't hear Luna and I talking did you?' he asked, 'were you spying on me?'

'No!' she said becoming angry, 'why would I do that?'

Harry ran his hand through his hair and sighed loudly, 'sorry. I didn't mean that.'

'I did hear you and Luna talking but I didn't do it purposely, Harry', she said and saw him look a bit flushed.

'So you heard everything?' he asked and she stepped out from the corner and faced him looking a bit flushed as well.

'Yes I did. Who is she?' she asked because she wanted him to say it to her face.

'Isn't it obvious?' Harry asked looking at anything else but her and it annoyed her to see him do that because he never really did that to her.

'No it isn't because you never told me anything. I always keep hearing these stories from other people and never from you!'

She didn't mean to shout at him but it had obviously made her angry because he kept telling everyone about how he felt about her and yet he never told her. Hermione couldn't believe Harry would tell her everything else and then hide something like that from her but then she realised that she was doing the same thing as well. She had loved him and refused to tell him.

'And you?' he asked looking angry as well, 'you haven't done the same?'

'I-Yes I have...'

'I hear it from Ginny all the time!' he exclaimed, 'she's always pushing it in my face that you love him! You know she'd come back and tell me didn't you and yet you never told me that you loved him!'

'What-Who are you talking about?' Hermione asked and for the second time that night, she was totally confused by the use of pronouns.

'I'm talking about Ron!' he said, 'it isn't me you love. That's so obvious to me. You'd choose Ron over me any day wouldn't you?'

'I'd never choose Ron over you! I love you two the same!'

'Oh really?' he said stepping closer to her, 'telling Ginny how you'd never love Harry the way you love Ron because he's far too dangerous to even fancy.'

'I never told her that!' she cried, 'I never said a word of that!'

'Oh right I believe you, sometimes I wonder if I even believe every word you say to me, after hearing all the things you say behind my back! Tell me, why didn't you even come sit with Ron and me tonight? Would you have preferred him to be sitting alone so then you'd bid him goodnight?'

And she felt as if he had slapped her. Hermione looked slight aghast at him and he stared back at her angrily. How could he stand there and accuse her of loving Ron more than she loved him? How could he actually think that? She couldn't believe he had said those things to her and just minutes ago she had believed that there was a possibility that she loved him more than a best friend!

'I'm going to pretend you didn't say that to me, Harry', she said with tears in her eyes, 'and maybe you should clear up everything you hear with me first before believing it.' And she turned around to walk away.

He grabbed her arm so sudden that she stopped and almost tripped. She spun around and looked at him, her eyes burning with anger and hurt and pulled away her hand.

'Leave me alone!' she hissed, 'like you said, I'm going to bid Ron goodnight!'

'Wait. I didn't mean that!' he cried looking ashamed of himself and she stood there looking at him.

'Where the hell all that anger is coming from Harry Potter, I don't know but you better learn to control your feelings or else you'll lose every damn friend you have. And just to let you know, you've just lost me! Since I met you I used to believe I loved you more than even Ron but now I believe you're the last person I want to see or care for or love in my life!' and she turned around and stalked along the corridor, tears streaming down her face.

'Hermione!' Harry shouted and he ran after her, 'please wait! I'm sorry!'

He reached up with her and reached out to hold her shoulder and she stopped. Turning around she looked at him and began to lash out, her hands pummelling him in the chest and on his arms.

'How dare you!' she cried hitting him hard in his chest, 'how dare you say those things to me! You spiteful, ungrateful, self centred, conceited, arrogant', and with every harsh word, she hit out at him.

Harry raised his hands in front of him to shield her blows but she pulled at his hands.

'Stop it!' he exclaimed and Hermione slapped him.

For a moment she had realised what she did and stood there looking shocked, her hand frozen in midair. He reached up with on hand and pressed it against the cheek she had slapped, and stared back at her. Hermione didn't know what to say and she felt so bad at what she had done and said that she wanted to apparated on the spot and go somewhere far from there.

'You've said it all and cleared up everything I heard', Harry whispered with hurt in his voice and a tear rolled down his cheek.

He walked towards the railing and sniffed then wiped his face with one hand. Harry kicked the rail with one foot then walked off in the opposite direction, leaving Hermione standing there looking at him. He went along the corridor and then, she didn't know what had come over her but she was running after him, her hair flying behind her. This part of the corridor wasn't sheltered and the rain had begun to drizzle, giving the corridor a soft hazy glow in the moonlight. She reached up with him and threw out her arms to grab his hand.

'Leave me alone, Hermione', he said and his voice was cracked and he pulled away from her grip.

'Harry!' she cried and pushed him.

He stopped and turned around to face her, his face now wet from tears as well as the rain that was had now picked up pace. Hermione reached out again and tried to hold his hand but he moved away and she tried again and again and each time he moved away. She walked up to him and tried to touch him but he reached out and batted her hands away.

'Don't touch me', he said in a low dangerous voice and she still tried to.

When Hermione couldn't stand it anymore, she stepped up to him and grabbed unto his hair. Pulling his head down even though he had reached up and held unto her hands, she kissed him fully on his lips. Harry didn't kiss her back but kept his mouth closed and his hands were tightening their grip on her hands. She kissed him hard and used her tongue to pry open his lips but he still refused to kiss her back because of how angry he was. She didn't know what else to do. Using her hand, she reached down and touched him there and he suddenly froze.

His body became tense and although she sensed it, Hermione still kept kissing him. At first, his hands let go of hers then she started to massage him using her hand. Harry ran his hands through her hair and grabbed fistfuls then began to kiss her back so hard and passionately that it surprised her. He worked his tongue into her mouth and flicked it against hers; sending sharp twists of electrified impulses down her spine. The rain soaked them both but neither of them was aware of it because of the intensity of their feelings for each other at that moment. Her body was pressed against his and she could feel him grow hard against her.

A sharp whip of cold wind came at them and chilled her and Harry felt her shiver against him. Only then did he pull away slightly, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

'Harry', she said with her teeth chattering, 'I didn't mean...'

'Shhhh', he said pressing a finger to her lips and he kissed her forehead, 'let's pretend it never happened. I love you so much Hermione.' And he hugged her, pressing his lips unto her wet hair.

'I love you too Harry!' she said and attempted to reach up and kiss him again.

He allowed her to kiss him and when they had parted, he wrapped his arm around her and they hurried out of the rain.

'Am I all of those things?' he asked as they walked back to the common room, 'self centred, conceited, arrogant, stupid...'

'No', she said snuggling up closer in to him, 'I'd never ever say those things to you!'

They walked away and none of them were aware of the pair of bright eyes staring out at them from a dark corner. Neither of them saw Mrs Norris sitting on her hind legs looking at them. She then got up and walked away and if cats could indeed smile, she most certainly did!


End file.
